sorry to unleash this on all (2 of) yall, but WTF IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD THAT NO ONE CAN DO THEIR JOB AND/OR TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR SUCKING AT WHAT THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO DO? i think i am officially an old bitter bastard, because i swear my aunts and uncles bitched this very same thing when i was a kid. i'm just going nuts. today's installment: The company who owes you $20k declares bankruptcy and says "sorry" for being unable to pay outstanding debts, and, relatedly, the county clerk lost the affidavit you hand-fucking-carried to them a month ago, proving you served a summons to said shithead now-bankrupting company.
like, if your only damn job is to stamp an affidavit when someone hands it to you and file it in a g.d. drawer, why are they paying you a salary when you DIDN'T FILE IT IN A DRAWER? and why do you have ZERO REMORSE about it? honestly, i am flummoxed. i feel like the world doesn't make any sense when shit like this happens. it's akin, in my mind, to someone just randomly driving on the lefthand side of the road, or cutting in front of you in line and being like "yep, i did." no excuses, no logic, no nothing. i feel like saying "GO LIVE ON MARS, WEIRDO." but don't keep working at the fucking clerk's office.
and i'm done. thank you. eff!
in other news, life is very very decent. I'm as-yet jobless, but getting to focus, in the meantime, on cool stuff like trying-to-become-a-calmer-person (meditation) and at-long-last-uncovering-my-creative-medium (writing). i'm totally committed to these two things, right now. i have a ton of ideas about the first of these two endeavors - and i'm hoping to communicate them via the second. boulderhomecook made a good point, after my last post: namely, that PRACTICE is really the key (and i'm carrying this truth into my two new "commitments" mentioned above) and that - right - writing is also about saying something that might not necessarily have a place for expression in your own, normal, day-to-day world. it's a place to go a little poetic and soft and adventurous, rather than the standard hard-edged, goal-driven approach that dominates most of life and its writing.
i'm hoping my blog turns into something that has a distinctive perspective. i'm sort of just ranting and journalling on here so far. sharing experiences. which, honestly, isn't terribly interesting, i think. i've at least determined that, AS A WRITER (he-hem! i am trying out calling myself that), i am, at least now, more of a non-fiction kinda writer. i love reading fiction, but i really want to talk about ideas and philosophy and life/reality when i write. maybe this just means i'm less well-adjusted than fiction writers and i'm desperately trying to make sense of all of this. which is totally true, who am i kidding - i find life to be a totally bizarre and nonsensical experience.
et voila.
xo
1 comment:
what a rant! I know it isn't worth 20k but that was a pretty good one, especially coming from one so normally calm as you.
I like the question about the lack of logic or accompanying remorse. I can't think of a good example at this point, but I know exactly what you mean.
Keep ranting.
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