oh man

i think i am the most boring blogger in the world. and an inconsistent one at that. last night, after spending a glorious evening with summersue [best jr. high slow-dancing re-enacter EVAH], i came home to my friends jess & jen popping by my house to recover a bit from The Drink before making The Drive back to The Home. anyway, after THAT, i was able to log on to summer's site, which always rocks me world (summerpierre.com) - so insightful, so full-of-hope & beauty
***crap, have to go to lunch with the BOSS -- what kinda lunch is that, honestly? it is my FREE TIME for crying out loud!!! more later ***
okay i'm back - and yep, surlier than effing EVER. there is nothing that makes me feel less like the person i am and more heinous in my skin than sitting around a restaurant i would otherwise never go to with three (republican, mind you) men with whom i would otherwise NEVER share a meal, talking about PROFIT MARGINS. WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO MY LIFE? IS THIS A JOKE? AM I AN INGRATE? WHY SO DISGUSTED? alright, chill sister... it's just a job. just doing this for a little while to make some dough. okay focus focus... well, this whole lunch shenanigans only serves to reinforce my point from earlier in this blog -- that i am left feeling, after looking at such amazing sites as summer's and kai's (kaismart.com) and orion's (elenzil.com), that the wealth, the riches in my life are really comign from the wrong place right now. the fact that i can buy a pair of expensive jeans (and when, incidentally, did the avg price of jeans become $140? that freaks me out) or a shirt i want is NOTHING next to the fact that i spend 40+ hours a week (okay, sometimes less) in a grey padded cell. this is all effed up and i don't know exactly how i came to swallow this pill and think this is a fine life - a suitable life - a life i should be grateful to have -- wait, i AM grateful for my life, don't mean to sound like i'm not. oh shit, i have to work and all i want to do is write. i don't even know what my blog name is to tell people how to find it. more later!!